Sensitive people are the most creative beings. Creativity is nurtured through the ability to feel things deeply, see things abstractly and understand things perceptively. That’s how art is created— it’s the result of a surplus of emotion and knowledge that the mind can’t contain. But the power of sensitivity comes at a cost. Sensitivity is also a creative’s weakness for all the same reasons. We feel the depth of our doubts. See the flaws and imperfections. Understand the weight of rejection. Where and how much of the focus lies is what shapes growth or lack of.
I revisited my creative journey in the last blog post and discovered a deep understanding of my creative passion through music in my childhood. Click here to read it. I nurtured its growth and realised my potential. I had certainty that my life, no matter the circumstance, would always be rooted in music and creativity. Instead, I woke up in my 30s realising I just wasted a decade suppressing my potential. Why? Sensitivity is my weakness.
Sensitivity is a superpower
‘Superpowers’ are often associated with superheroes. ‘Superheroes’ are often portrayed as selfless and heroic, using their powers to help others. Creatives magnify their feelings and create their interpretations. Their interpretations can have a profound impact on someone who resonates with it and initiate meaningful connections. Shared understanding on a world view is healing and gratifying because it makes people feel less alone. Just like a superhero, creatives use their sensitivity as a power for good to build a sense of belonging to others in a world that can feel isolating.
That’s what music was for me. I found meaning in every aspect of the song. The part each instrument played. The harmony. The vocal artistry and skills. The conscious awareness of a singer’s placement with each vibrato, glissando, run or staccato. The lyrics. The feelings it would incite from appreciating the entirety of the song. It made me feel like whatever I was going through, I wasn’t alone. Someone out there understands me. I felt the meaning and passion of it deep within my soul and I wanted to be able to do that desperately. I wanted to create music and lyrics for someone out there to feel understood too. As an adult, I realise that what I really wanted was to connect, to build a community and to inspire. I wanted to be the voice for others.
The cost of feeling too much
“With great power, comes great responsibility” said Uncle Ben to Peter. Our work reflects so much of ourselves that we attach value to our creation. We overanalyse every criticism, thought, fear, doubt, judgement. Each negative remark or feedback is felt deeply and absorbed in as a rejection of oneself. To reject the work, is to reject the creator as a whole. Constant experiences of this can have a devastating and compounding impact on the creator. Feedback can only be as constructive as the delivery and the reception of it is.
Feedback from the wrong people isn’t a reflection of your worth. It took me years to realise this. I spent a lot of energy questioning myself and my worth because the feedback didn’t align with mine. Gradually I got quieter. I was hyper aware. Every time I had a creative idea or wanted to share my music to the world, I convinced myself that my potential was just a pipe dream. I did this because I wasn’t getting any feedback or encouragement at all- it felt as if my music was so irrelevant and unimportant that I’d be an idiot to share it with the world. Eventually I just accepted that an average life is one I should be grateful about. I convinced myself that my thoughts, my passion and my voice will never inspire or help anyone, and to instead focus on the people and the life I have. But my thoughts got louder until it was deafening.
The silence came when I realised that my self-worth is not dependent on others and the only person who can actualise my potential is myself.
Sensitivity to seizing power
You know that feeling. That gut punch, lightbulb idea purely drawn from inspiration. That one in a million rare ideas that your entire body, mind and spirit just connects with. I wanted to start a podcast. One centred around my experience as a parent to my perfect little human with special needs. I felt impelled and driven to do this to help other parents in similar situations find comfort that they aren’t alone. To offer comfort in sharing struggles and that it’s okay to feel these emotions without the guilt attached to it.
For the first time in a long time, I felt that fire raging through me again. I wrote the script with passion, recorded with conviction and edited with the focus to do good. I was excited. The creative people around me were excited. The one opinion that mattered to me most— was not. The feedback came from a place of logic, caution and a negative perception attached to the idea, rather than the content. The focus was on the disclosure of personal information rather than the purpose to inspire, so the criticism was harsh, personal and not creatively constructive.
Redirecting the focus
Perception is what drives focus. I perceived the feedback as a negative reflection of myself, when really, others are limited to seeing depth beyond theirs. Some people just can’t see past their own thoughts and beliefs and that’s okay. It’s not our responsibility to move an immovable object. After a considerable amount of self-reflection, I realised that my work and the intention behind it was pure, unadulterated passion and it was the catalyst that brought me back to life. It was a moment of awakening that reignited that fire in me. The insatiable appetite of my creativity needed to be fed after a decade of starvation— thus, this blog was born.
The redirection of focus into this blog allowed me to realise that there are others who have lived the same way and need their passions and creativity awakened. Sensitivity is our power and weakness, giving us the ability to feel and understand depth to foster creativity but harbours scrutiny. The thing is, we have the self-awareness to harness both. So next time you receive negative feedback, instead of feeling discouraged, redirect your focus.
Ask the questions that challenge and improve your ideas and breathe life back into your creativity.
- Where did inspiration come from?
- How did this creative process make you feel?
- What was the most difficult part of creating this?
- What makes you proud of this work?
- What would the sequel to this look like?
I used to think I could be happy with a diluted sense of self. Instead, I wandered through life colourless. Embrace every opportunity to explore your potential.
Doors don’t open for those who don’t knock.
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